Full House Beats All
by Jester of Confusion
Summary: Jareth ends up Aboveground in a house full of.... A prep, a goth, a romatist, a genius, a punk, a singer, and a queen to rule them all! Bad news, they're all girls!
1. Stuck in a Maze

Authoress: I have to do more comedy! I have to! It's like a drug!

Jareth: And you've overdosed….

Autohress: Who asked you, Glitter-Boy?

Jareth: Grrr.

Zoe: Anyhoo, we are going to start another fic! Don't ask me why…

Jareth: Why?!

Zoe: I just said don't ask!

Authoress: Just start the fic!

Disclaimer: She don't own Labyrinth! It's that simple!

Full House Beats All

Stuck in a Maze

He was defeated, heartbroken, and bored. Well, he had one of three options: He could stay and be bored to he withered away, He could leave and search for the girl and try to win her heart, Or He could kill himself right there and then. Two of those didn't sound very appealing.

There were two small problems. He couldn't get Aboveground without being called and who would watch the entire kingdom while he was off searching for the girl?!

Salvation came the day his sister poofed in for a visit. He would find a way to get Aboveground then he would find the girl, Sarah.

"Jareth? Jareth?! Yoo-hoo! Underground to Major Tom can you hear me?!" a hand was waved in front of his face. Jareth was jolted out of his thoughts. His sister, Mera, stood in front of him with annoyed face on.

"Sorry, wasn't listening," Jareth said. Mera growled.

"You better start listening or you can kiss your little dream vacation goodbye. I will not baby-sit a maze full of Goblins if you are not willing to cooperate," she said sternly.

"I'm sorry, Mera, but I just want to leave this place and get away for a while," he said exhausted. Mera nodded in understanding.

"Alright, the first kid to wish away somebody you'll be out of here. I'll take care of the place. But you might find it cleaner than you left it," Mera said looking around the dirty throne room.

"Mera, this is the first chapter you shouldn't talk of such things. You might upset the fans too early," Jareth said. (AN: As you can see this is going to be comedy, major!)

Mera rolled her eyes heavenward and asked the Gods who gave her such a brother? In heaven the God of War handed the God of Siblings a five-dollar bill.

Suddenly he heard it. Jareth heard the call of someone wishing someone away. Jareth smiled evilly. "I'll be leaving now. I'll see you when I get back," Jareth said producing a crystal.

"Be good," Mera warned. Jareth nodded and disappeared.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Authoress: I'm gonna leave you there, cuz it's hella funny to watch you guys squirm.

Zoe: It's comedy all the way, so fasten those seatbelts.

Jareth: (Fastens Seatbelt on throne)

Authoress: Oh brother….

All: Please REVIEW!


	2. At First We Meet

Authoress: Forgot to tell you! This is going to be a J/S fic, but kinda later on.

Zoe: We are trying to figure out to get her here.

Jareth: Just set a trail of peaches. (Smiles evilly)

Authoress: Shut up! We need to think!

Zoe: We do?

Authoress: Grr, YES!!!

Zoe: Oh ok (bites into peach)

Jareth: She is muse right?

Authoress: Yes she's not very smart, partly because she's my main muse.

Jareth: (scared) YOU HAVE MORE?!

Authoress: (Smiles evilly) Of course

Zoe: (Woozy) Start the fic!

Disclaimer: I wish owned Labyrinth, but I don't.

Full House Beats All

At First We Meet

"I wish the Goblins would come and take her away, right now," an annoyed voice said. There were gasps from around the one who had said it.

"You shouldn't have said that!" a small voice said.

"Well, she did, big deal!" another voice snapped.

"As far as I'm concerned they can have her!" a different voice chimed in. Lightening struck outside the big window. The bay window flew open and in flew a white barn owl.

"What the hell?!" the one that made the wish exclaimed.

"Someone get the cat. A stupid owl flew in the window," a voice shouted. The owl changed into Jareth. The people all stopped moving and talking. He was very imposing in the dark and half of his audience at the moment were scared. Then a light clicked on. Jareth blinked for a moment.

"Girls," a older voice asked, "Who's that?" an old woman stood next to the light switch squinting at Jareth. Jareth took a look at the people standing in front of him. There were five girls. The youngest looked to be about 15, the oldest looked about 17.

"This is our uncle!" one of the girls spoke up to the elderly woman. The girl went over and stood next to Jareth. She was wearing baggy green pants, a t-shirt that had the letter LP on it, and a wristband on her left wrist. "If you don't want to get in trouble, play along," she whispered to Jareth. Jareth was taken by surprise then decided to play along.

"Yes, I've missed you girls!" he said enthusiastically.

"Eh? He came through the window?" the woman asked.

"Old tradition! You can go home now, Mrs. Yule. Uncle will watch us," the girl said. The elderly woman shrugged and left the room. As soon as they all heard her car start up and drive away everyone let out a breath they were holding.

"Thank God that woman can't see for crap," the girl wearing all black and fishnet said darkly. The girl that had talked to Jareth had short blonde hair that went to her chin and forest green eyes. She looked up to Jareth.

"So I'm guessing you're the Goblin King," she said. He nodded. "Are you going to take that woman away? We really don't care, but we kinda don't want to be blamed for her disappearance," she said.

"You're wasting the man's time, Kori," a bored voice said, The girl who spoke was sitting against the wall. She had on a white polo and a plaid skirt, her dark brown hair was done up in a tight bun. Her blue eyes were looking towards the book in her hands.

"So, you staying?" the goth asked from her position on the bed. She had dyed black hair that was spiked up and dark brown eyes.

"Oh please stay!" a girl that practically looked like a model asked. She was dressed up for cheerleading practice. "We won't have to be with that annoying woman again!"

"Why don't you let him at least talk!" a voice came from the other window. Yet another girl, sat on the other window looking at the rain. She had long reddish hair and dark green eyes. She wore blue jeans and a red tank-top. "Sorry for stalling you sir. Go ahead and talk," she said and looked over to him.

Jareth took a deep breath. "Well, I do need a place to stay while I'm here. If you wouldn't mind, I would be grateful for the lodging," he said. There was some cheering and some smiles. Then there was a creak. The girls seemed to freeze. Then all hell broke loose.

"Crap! Kelli! She's home! What do we do?!" Kori asked frantically. The girl in plaid just frowned and looked to Jareth.

"I say we just tell her. What do you think, Leah?" Kelli asked the goth. The goth scowled.

"There's an idea. Let's tell her that we wished away our guardian and now we have invited the Goblin King into our home," she said sarcastically.

"You are no help in situations like these," the cheerleader complained.

"Brittany, when have you ever helped?" Leah asked.

"That's not nice! You're mean!" she sulked and folded her arms over her chest.

"Well, there goes two opinions," Kori growled. She then looked to the girl sitting at the window. "Virginia, got any ideas?"

"Why don't you just tell her he's Mrs. Yule's son or something. He needed a place to stay and he's a respectable young man from England?" she said.

"Wow, that was easy," Kori said.

"Good, because that's the only Idea I'm giving you this week," Virginia said.

"There's Miss Mellow for you," Leah said and got up to go downstairs. She walked downstairs and was greeted by a tall girl with long blonde hair.

"Hey, Leah, is everyone upstairs?" she asked. The girl hand on black slacks and a dark purple T-shirt that said Totem Dark Bar.

"Yeah," Leah answered and took a swig of the milk.

"Right," the girl said and walked off. She walked upstairs. The blonde entered the big room all the girls were in.

"Hey guys I thought I old you not to play in my ro-" she stopped when she noticed the guy standing in her room. He had short blonde hair and mis-matched eyes. Yes, for those of you that are lost, this is not Jareth's son! This is the changed Jareth.

"Who's this? And what is he doing in my room?" she asked.

"This is Mrs. Yule's son, Jareth. He's a foreign exchange student from England and he majored in medicine. He's going to be a doctor. He said that he can watch us from now on! He needs a place to stay- MMPH" Brittany was cut short when Kelli stuck her hand over her mouth.

"Stop rambling," she said. "OW! You brat! She bit me!"

"What did expect her to do? Let you hold her mouth?" the new girl asked.

"Shane! She bit me! She could have germs! I could become dumb like her!" Kelli freaked out and ran out of the room. Brittany smiled evilly and chanced after her.

"Play with me Kelli!" could be heard down the hall. "I want to play doctor,"

"Weirdoes," Virginia said and picked herself up from her place at the window. "I'll be downstairs," she walked out of the room

"Starving artist, the new girl muttered and looked to Jareth.

"Loosing inspiration, is she?" he asked trying to make conversation.

"No, she's actually starving herself, 'till she creates a new masterpiece! She's a singer," there was a long silence. "Hi, I'm Shane," she held out her hand. Jareth shook her hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," he said. Shane could tell right away he was English.

"Could you come downstairs for a moment, I have to have a long chat with my sisters," she said.

"Of course," the two walked downstairs.

"Girls get your butts down here now!" Shane called. There were feet stomping upstairs. The five girls were then on the couch looking straight ahead. At a time like this, Shane meant business.

"Why did you lie to me?" Shane started out. The girls on the couch looked from one another. Shane then looked straight at Brittany.

"Brittany, why did you lie to me?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked, near tears.

"First off, you five really need to work on getting to know your babysitter. You guys! Mrs. Yule is Irish! She has been a widow since, well, a long time! She doesn't have a son! I'm the one that interviewed her. She told me all about it! Heck, she wouldn't shut up about it! This guy right here is English. And in order to have an exchange student you need to send a student to the other place!" Shane finished and sat down in the leather chaise near the door. "You people have problems," she sighed.

"If it's all the same, can we keep him?" Kori asked.

"Kori, he's a grown man, not some dog you accidentally hit while learning how to drive," Shane said. Kori shot her a glare and just sulked.

"Well why not?" Leah interrupted. "If wanted to hurt us by now I think he would've," she said. Shane sighed…. Again.

"Fine! But if there is any problem he's out of here in a heartbeat!"

"Will you please stop talking about me like I'm not here?" Jareth said as he leaned against the door. Suddenly the door burst open, throwing Jareth of balance and crashing to the floor.

"HELLO HAPPY PEOPLE!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Authoress: I'll leave it at that!

Zoe: Ok

Jareth: PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Jareth Learns of Pain

Authoress: Sorry if I confused you guys! I guess info is needed when you read my stories.

Goth- Leah (Spiked Black hair, brown eyes)

Punk- Kori (Short blonde hair, forest green eyes)

Singer- Virginia (Dark red hair, dark green hair)

Prep- Brittany (Curled blonde hair, brown eyes)

Genius- Kelli (Dark brown hair, blue eyes)

Oldest- Shane (Long blonde hair, purple eyes)

Zoe: Hey, where am I?!

Authoress: In la-la land…

Jareth: Look who's talking.

Authoress: On with the show!

Disclaimer: Don't own Labyrinth, but I do own just about all the girls!

Full House Beats All

Jareth Learns of Pain

"HELLO HAPPY PEOPLE!" a sing-song voice called out as the door slammed open. Jareth went head first onto the floor. (AN: )

"Ow," was all that was heard.

"Well, look who's home," Leah muttered.

"It's good to see you too, Gothika," the new girl shot.

"Shut up you two. So, Torance, you seem happy. How was your date with Greg?" Shane asked. Meanwhile Jareth is on the floor, still in pain. The girl at the door had long black hair and bright blue eyes.

"Oh I dumped him. He was so not right with me. Besides he's a Scorpio, totally opposite to me," the girl waved her hand dismissing the thought. Kori handed Kelli a five dollar bill and muttered some choice words.

"So anybody hungry?" Shane asked. Yet again, nobody noticed Jareth.

"Ow," was the only word he said as all the girls huddled into the kitchen.

One hour Later…..

"Oh Jareth there you are!" Shane said and went to stand over him on the floor. "Where you been buddy?" she asked. Jareth felt like killing someone, but kept that little thought to himself.

"Look, I need a place to stay while I'm ….. er, in town. Ok?" he said as he hopped up and dusted himself off. (AN: Hopped up? That was a quick recovery).

"Well, why didn't you say so?! Sure you can stay," Shane said.

"That's all? No protest?" he asked.

"No, why?" she asked.

"Then why did you go through that whole stupid conversation with those girls, you call your sisters?!" he practically yelled.

"I don't like it when people lie to me," Shane answered. (AN: I so wish this was an anime, so he could face fault- but he can't)

"Can you just tell me if you know somebody by the name of Sarah Williams," Jareth said exhausted.

"Oh yeah, she's our next door neighbor," Shane answered. Can this story get any more covenant?! Jareth looked at Shane like she had three heads.

"You've got to be joking," Jareth said.

"No, if I was joking I would've said 'A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks why the long face,'" she said.

"Ok, you're not joking," Jareth said. (AN: That little skit kinda wasn't mine). Jareth just started thinking and plotting. Shane waved her hand in front of his face a couple of times. When he didn't move she shrugged and went upstairs to bed.

Jareth, being kind of dense, stood there all night thinking about how he was going to get Sarah to love him. When the girls went downstairs in the morning they had to step around the statue that was Jareth. Then an idea came to him.

The girls all sat down to breakfast. They all had their cereals out on the table and were getting ready to eat it. They picked up their spoons.

"EUREKA! I'VE GOT IT!" Jareth burst into the room. Milk and cereal went everywhere. Jareth then found himself drenched in milk.

"Stupid Goblin King! You don't do that while we're eating," Shane yelled.

"But I- Wait how did you know I was the goblin King?" Jareth asked.

"Your tattoo says it," Torance said and pointed to the tattoo on his forearm. Jareth looked down at it.

"Oh, forgot about this," he said. (AN: No wonder he where long sleeves all the time).

"Now what were you yelling about before you entered?" Kelli asked. Jareth thought for moment.

"Oh I forgot," Jareth said.

A half An Hour Later….

"NOW I REMEMBER!" Jareth said and woke the sleeping girls at the table.

"What?" Torance asked, Shane then looked down at her watch.

"HOLY SHIT! I'VE GOT TO GO TO WORK!!" she grabbed her coat and headed out the door. She then entered again. "Oh by the way, you girls behave for Jareth ok?" With that she left.

"So…. Anybody see the news?" Kelli asked, just to fill the silence.

"No, why?" Kori asked.

"I think I saw something about a new club opening up," Kelli answered.

"Should we go?" Torance asked.

"I don't know. Ask our babysitter," Leah said. Every girl looked to Jareth. Jareth started backing out of the kitchen.

"This cannot end well."

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Authoress: As you can see, Torance is the Romantist.

Zoe: Please review, we like it!

Jareth: (Asleep)

Authoress: (elbows him)

Jareth: Wha- huh? Oh yeah, review, whatever….


	4. Babysitting Isn't All Fun

Authoress: I got reviews! I feel so happy inside!

Zoe: No, that's just the Mountain Dew talking.

Authoress: Oh, well then I'm still happy that people like my story!

Zoe: I can't say the same for Jareth.

Jareth: (snore)

Authoress: JARETH!

Jareth: (wakes up) THAT'S NOT A SOCK!!

Z & A: O-O

Jareth: Crap…

Z & A: (burst out laughing)

Disclaimer: Don't own Labyrinth

Z & A: (still laughing)

Jareth: Just start the damn fic…

Full House Beats All

Babysitting Isn't All Fun

"WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING?!" Jareth asked as he was being dragged to the van by Kelli and Brittany. Kori grabbed the keys from inside, but Leah grabbed them from her.

"HEY! I want to drive!" Kori yelled.

"Oh no! All you do is tell us to be quiet every time you almost hit a pedestrian!" Leah said and tossed the keys to Virginia.

"Oh yeah, let the anorexic drive. And that was one time!" Kori argued and got in the car. At that moment Sarah went outside. She looked over and saw her strange neighbors getting into the car, then she saw a guy she didn't know.

"Hey guys! Who's that?" Sarah called. Kelli and Brittany turned around and their eyes widened. Jareth opened his mouth to say something. Kelli and Brittany shoved him in the car.

"Oof!"

"He's a new babysitter," Leah said. She got the rest of the girls in the car and shut the door. Virginia started the car and backed out of the drive-way. She waved to Sarah and drove off. Sarah stood there waving awkwardly.

"I wonder who that was?" she shrugged, "Oh well, probably gay," she said then looked around. "What did I come out here for again?" she asked.

The car stopped rather abruptly in front of a Walmart. "AHH!" the girls screamed as they all flew forward as the car stopped.

"Argh, where are we?" Leah asked as she rubbed her head.

"Let Virginia drive, huh? Great idea!" Kori complained.

"Shut up," Leah shot back. The door of the van opened and everyone fell out.

"Get off of me!" Brittany yelled.

"Jareth move your hand or die a very painful death," Leah cursed.

"That's not my hand!" Jareth said in defense.

"Can't (gasp) Breathe!" Kori gasped out.

"Somebody get off from sitting on my stomach!" Kelli screamed.

"Sorry Kelli!" Torance apologized.

Virginia walked around the car and looked at the pile of people on the ground. "Do you mind, we need to get stuff and leave,' she said, bored. They all untangled themselves and got up with muttering and grumbling.

"Why did you guys stop me from talking to Sarah?!" Jareth asked.

"You're not supposed to until Chapter 6," Kelli said.

"Really?" Jareth asked. Leah whipped out her script out of nowhere. She flipped to page 10.

"Yeah, it says here," Leah said and showed Jareth page.

"Oh, ok," Jareth shrugged.

"Hey wait let me see that," Torance said. She looked at the script. "I go out with a guy name, Derek?!" she asked. Leah closed the script and put it away.

"Where are we?" Jareth asked.

"Walmart superstore. It has everything!" Brittany said.

"Guys, let's get it straight that we are just here for the provision, nothing else," Virginia said.

Three hours Later…..

"You were saying about, 'Just the provisions'?" Kori asked as the group walked out of the store with two shopping carts full.

"Shut up," Virginia muttered

"Now where do we go?" Kelli asked as they got into the van.

"Blockbuster of course!" Torance said. The van zoomed off and stopped again in front of a Blockbuster Video Store. The girls entered and exited in a minute flat. They had twenty videos/ dvds. This brought whole new meaning to the phrase 'gone in sixty seconds'.

"Are we missing something?" Leah asked as they looked around the van. Then the girls all looked at each other.

"JARETH!"

Meanwhile Jareth standing in front of Walmart

"I'm going to be dead by the end of the week," Jareth said then nearly dodged the speeding van. The door opened as the van stopped in front of him.

"Sorry, Jare, we thought you were already in!" Torance apologized. Jareth grumbled and climbed into the van.

"Off we go!" Kori said and the van speeded off again.

--------------------------------------------

Authoress: You think I'm hurting Jareth too much?

All Jareth Fan: YES!!

Authoress: O-O

Jareth: What do you think?!

Authoress: I don't think! HA! Got you there!

Jareth: Yup, you really got me (sarcasm)

Zoe: Just review (shaking head)


	5. Guests Left Guessing

Authoress: I need more comedy

Zoe: That's the last thing you need!

Authoress: And this is my last resort

Jareth: That reminds me of that Papa Roach song

Authoress: Yeah, that was a good song

Zoe: CAN WE PLEASE GET ON WITH THE FIC?!

Authoress: Ok, push the button!

Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth, but I do own it about all the happy house friends!

Full House Beats All

Guests Left Guessing

Three empty ice cream cartons, a torn up tissue box, and five incense packets later the group was asleep in living room. Almost all the movies were watch and the groceries were almost all eaten. If it wasn't for Shane everything would probably be gone.

Suddenly, they were all awoken by a click. Don't ask me how they were woken by that. The front door was opening. The girls huddled together and Jareth looked up questionably.

"Somebody is trying to break in!" Brittany whined.

"Alright, girls, attack position alpha," Shane whispered. The girls spread out. Shane stood behind the front door. "Ready?" the others nodded, and Jareth looked oblivious. Shane opened the door quickly and a figure fell into the house. "ATTACK!"

The girls tackled the intruder. They tied him up and put duct tape over his mouth. Somebody finally flipped on a light. In the chair was Sarah's father, Richard.

"Mr. Williams? You're a burglar?!" Kori asked. The duct tape was kind of invading his speech.

"I KNEW IT!" Torrance said and glared at Leah. Leah grumbled and got out her wallet. She handed Torrance a five dollar bill and mumbled a few choice words. The girls looked to Jareth, who was at the moment sitting on the couch reading a book entitled How to Win Over Your Girlfriend's Dad written by I.R. Idiot.

"Jareth, a little help please," Kelli said.

"What do you want from me?" he asked, putting down the book.

"For starters, help us decide what to do with this guy," Shane said. Meanwhile a guy was sneaking in through the back, this was a real burglar.

"Maybe you should take the tape off his mouth," Jareth suggested. Torrance tore the duct tape off of Richard mouth.

"OW!!" he yelled. The burglar, surprised by this slipped and fell on the kitchen floor. Richard, when he was done cursing and Brittany stopped writing down every word he had said, told them he was just over to check on them. The house was awfully dark and that unusual for that house.

"I was just checking to make sure you guys were ok," he said.

"Ok, thank you Mr. Williams, but you have to leave now," Shane said. The girls picked up the chair.

"Oh wait! What are you doing?!" he asked.

"Come back again!" Leah said and they tossed him out the front door.

"AHH!"

The burglar, dazed form his fall got up and rubbed his head. He then began to prowl for stuff. Shane walked into the kitchen to get more ice cream. The burglar hid in the pantry. When Shane's back was turn he was about to strike. Then she opened the freezer. It hit the man in the face and he fell backwards.

"Hey any of you guys want anything?" Shane yelled out to the others. Some yelled to her. The burglar got up to strike again, but was then yet again hit in the face by the freezer door.

Shane brought out the ice cream and tossed some to the others. The burglar tried to stop his bleeding nose while getting some paper towels. He wobbled into the dinning room. He then heard a low growl and a hiss. Looking down he saw a very pissed off cat and his foot on it's tail.

"AHHH," the burglar's screaming was covered up by the horror movie the girls were watching. He ran back and forth with the cat clawing at his head.

"Hey Brittany did you remember to feed the cat?" Virginia asked.

"No, I forgot," she said and started eating more popcorn.

"AHHH!"

-An Hour Later-

He finally got the cat off his head and out the window. He snuck past the girls to the stairs. Suddenly the TV clicked off.

"ALRIGHT GIRLS! BEDTIME!" Shane yelled. The man heard stampeding feet and was then trampled by the girls running upstairs. Jareth walked past, not noticing the man.

The burglar, thinking he had finally got a break, stood up to leave. Then he tripped on the stairs.

"OO, OW, OH, OW," he went tumbling down the stairs and blacked out when he hit the tile at the bottom.

-The Next Morning-

"Who the hell is this?" Torrance asked as she stepped over the heap at the bottom of the stairs.

"Who knows, who cares," Leah said and stepped on him, then continued to the kitchen.

"Maybe he's our new babysitter," Brittany said as she also stepped on and over the man.

"No, we have Jareth, why would we get a new babysitter?" Kelli asked as she stepped around the burglar.

"Please don't remind me of that," Jareth grumbled as he kicked the man out of the way.

"Maybe he's from the talent agency," Virginia said as she went downstairs.

"You wish," Shane said and went halfway down the stairs. "KORI! What did I tell you about bringing home drunk salesmen?!" she yelled up the stairs.

"I didn't! And that was one time! Tequila was involved, shut up," Kori yelled back. Shane shrugged and motioned for Virginia to help her.

Her and Virginia picked the unconscious man up and threw him out the front door. He landed in the front yard with a loud thud.

He woke up about five minutes later. Before he could celebrate being out of the house he heard a growl. Looking over he spotted a very pissed off cat and some of his friends.

"AHHH!"

-Inside the Insane House-

"So what are we going to do today?" Jareth asked he hesitated to try some cereal.

"Well, we have to try Kelli's dimensional travel machine," Shane said. Jareth nodded.

"But first we have to end this chapter, it's getting to long," Leah pointed out.

"Wait, we haven't introduced my band yet!" Virginia whined. Then the doorbell rang. The other girls groaned. Virginia ran to the door and opened it. "Courtney, Mandy, and Tara!" she yelled and hugged her band mates.

"Can we please end it now?" Shane asked looking to the sky.

--------------------------------------

Authoress: Yesh!

Zoe: You're insane you know that right?

Authoress: (smiles evilly) That's just the beginning! We are going to travel the dimensions. So reviewers! Tell me where you want these guys to go!

Jareth: Oh crap…

Authoress: I already have some things planned!

All: SO REVIEW!!


	6. Let's Do the Time Warp!

Authoress: (taps microphone) This thing on?!  
Zoe: Yes, oh smart one (sigh)  
Authoress: OK! YAY! More chapters for the little people!  
Audience: WE'RE NOT LITTLE!  
Authoress: O-O  
Zoe: See what I mean, she is totally oblivious  
Jareth: I'm with you on that one  
Authoress: Why don't you two just get married?!  
J & Z: AHH!  
Authoress: I thought you were in the Bahamas for vacation?  
Jareth: I was, but then I kept getting mistaken for that singer David Bowie  
Bowie Fans: AND ACTOR!  
The Trio (A, J, & Z): PIPE DOWN!  
Authoress: Suppose I should get on with the fic, huh?  
Audience: YES!  
Authoress: Did you know David Bowie was a mime?  
Everyone: GET ON WITH IT!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth, the worm, the crazy hat guy, the king, blah-blah-blah!

**Full House Beats All  
Let's Do the Time Warp!**

"Bloody hell," Jareth exclaimed as he looked at the creation in front of him. It looked like a refrigerator connected to a door.

"Forgive me I didn't have a lot of resources," Kelli sighed as she glared in Shane's direction. 

"Hey don't look at me, it's not my fault I'm the only one who has a job in this dump," Shane said and glared at Torrance. Torrance just shrugged and went back to examining her perfectly manicured nails.

"So how does it work?" a voice out of nowhere asked.

"AHH!" everyone screamed and whirled around. Sarah stood on the other side of the room with a grin on her face. Jareth smirked in delight, and don't ask me how you do that.

"How did you get in?!" Kori asked.

"Your back door was unlocked and open, you should be more careful, anyone could just walk in," Sarah scolded. The others shrugged.

"By the way, how's you dad?" Brittany asked.

"Who? Oh yeah, dad, oh he's uh, um," Sarah paused in the middle of her explanation. "Where is he?" she put a finger to her chin and thought.

"Well, you can think about that later, right now, you can either leave or come with us in the time stream," Leah said and pointed to the machine in the middle of Kelli's room.

"What ever you do choose, could you make it quite, your air is polluting my neat and clean room," Kelli said, annoyed. Everyone looked to her then to Sarah.

"Well, I've got nothing else to do!" Sarah said and shrugged. "Hey, who's that? I didn't know you have a gay brother," Sarah pointed to Jareth.

"Oh that's Jareth, don't mind him, he tends to blend into the background," Shane said.

"How does he do that?! I mean look at him! How does that blend into the background?!" Kori asked.

"Jareth? What are you doing here?" Sarah asked. Jareth shrugged and gave her a look of pure innocence (if it is possible).

"Vacation?"

"Vacation, my a-"

"No time for chit chat. Someone throw something into the freezer, I mean, translation pod," Kelli said and pushed the others towards the door. Brittany started to fumble through a pile of book.

"AHA!" she exclaimed and threw a book in the freezer, uh, whatever. Then Kelli opened the door.

"Ok, jump in!" she yelled.

"Into the swirling vortex of horror?" Shane asked

"YES!" Kelli said and pushed her through. There was a scream and then she pushed the others through. This was going to be a very long story. And the scary part is that it's just beginning.

  
----------------------

Authoress: MWAHAHAHA!  
Zoe: Um, ok…..  
Jareth: We've got to cut her off the cola  
Zoe: No kidding  
Authoress: Should I stop there?  
Audience: OF COURSE NOT!!  
Authoress: Is it just me or does the audience yell a lot  
Zoe: No, I've noticed it too  
Jareth: I guess the reviewers get more

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The group landed hard on a grassy hill. "Alright, who spiked the popcorn?" Brittany asked as she sat up. She looked down and screamed. The others quickly sat up and looked to Brittany.

"What's wrong, why did you scream?!" Leah asked from over Brittany.

"Look at these close! They are soooo tacky," she said and pointed to her clothes. The other sighed in frustration. Leah whacked Brittany upside the head. They then looked down at their own clothes. They were all wearing peasant and dark ages clothing.

"Brittany, what book did you throw into the freez- thing?" Kelli asked when she was done looking at her own clothes. They were all wearing peasant and dark ages clothing.

"Oh yeah, it was your copy of the Lord of the Rings trilogy," Brittany said without a care in the world.

"WHAT?!" everyone stared at Brittany. Before they could strangle the poor dumb blonde they heard hoof beats.

"Crap!" Shane cursed then put on her best happy face. Picture a sadistic mouse. Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn galloped up. The man and elf looked very strapping and many of the girls were drooling.

"Oh brother," Leah rolled her eyes. Jareth was instead keeping an eye on Sarah, who was at the moment staring at Legolas.

"Who are you people?" Gandalf asked. Shane straightened up and cleared her throat.

"Us? Um, we are lowly travelers, looking for, um," Shane started to say.

"Gondor," Kelli said. "Thank god I read the series," she muttered. Shane sent her a glare, but the genius ignored it. The men on horse back looked to each other. Sarah then choose that time to saunter up to Legolas's horse. Incidentally Gimli also road on the same horse (AN: True to the book!).

"What do you say you drop the miniature and take me on that horse," Sarah said seductively. Legolas raised an eyebrow and almost pushed Gimli off the horse, but Jareth pulled Sarah away from the horse then pulled the blonde elf of the horse.

"Oof," Legolas landed on the ground.

"Mm, I though elves were graceful," Kori mumbled to Shane. Shane sighed in defeat. Maybe Aragorn would dump that other elf lady.

"I challenge you to a duel," Jareth said with confidence. Brittany clapped in delight.

"This is just like in medieval times!" she said.

"Uh, Brittany, Middle Earth has a background like in the middle ages and Jareth wears clothing like, well, a king. You need to get a brain sister," Leah shook her head.

"Fine I accept your challenge," Legolas said when he finally found his footing and stood up. Of course the short actor, um I mean, elf was not as tall as the imposing king. Who am I kidding, that line was just for the Jareth fans drooling over his picture now.

Legolas pulled out his bow and aimed an arrow at Jareth. The king yawned and pulled out a crystal. Just as the arrow was fired Jareth threw the crystal. It shattered the flimsy arrow and hit Legolas. Immediately his clothing turned into a ball dress. He screamed and ran away. Gandalf handed Aragorn a five dollar bill.

"Don't worry, it's an improvement!" Jareth called after him and turned to Sarah. She was not a happy camper. She huffed and started to walk away. Jareth's shoulders slumped.

Shane slapped him on the back. "Cheer up Jareth, you should be happy that you showed pansy bow boy who's boss," she said.

"Ok," Jareth said. "Well, we better leave," he said. Shane waved goodbye to Aragorn and the group moved to follow Sarah.

"You think we should go get Legolas?" Gimli asked the other two guys on horse. They looked from each other.

"Nah," they all three said and started off again.

------------------------------------

Authoress: I'm done and I've been waiting to do that to pointed eared boy for so long!

Zoe: Obviously.

Jareth: That was rather fun

Authoress: Hell Yeah!

Legolas Fans: (Holding pitchforks and torches)

Zoe: This does not look good

Jareth: Maybe we should go now, mm?

Authoress: EXIT STAGE LEFT!

All: REVIEW!!


	7. Captain Jareth!

Authoress: Well, they wanted more, I guess they get it

Zoe: Oh crap

Jareth: This is never good

Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth, and if I were to say I did the lawyers can't really get anything out of me. I'M DEAD BROKE MAN!!

Full House Beats All

Captain Jareth?!

"So we just press the little button on your watch and we get transported to the next dimension?" Shane asked. Kelli nodded. The group stood in the middle of a clearing in the forest. Sarah was still ignoring Jareth.

"Well, what are you waiting for?!" Torrance asked. Kelli pressed the little silver button on the side of her watch and the whole group disappeared in a puff off smoke.

--------------------

There was a series of coughing before everyone got a clear view of where they were. They had landed on the deck of an abandoned ship. Shane got up and looked around.

"Uh oh," she muttered. The others got up and looked too.

"This is not good," Leah said.

"HEY! I know that ship. It looks just like the ship in Pirates of the Carib- oh shit," Kori stopped. The famous Black Pearl was sailing towards them. Luckily the mysterious (and kinda stupid) fog was not following it. That meant Jack was now or still is the captain.

"So what do we do now?" Jareth asked. The girls smiled evilly. They grabbed a flag with the Jolly Roger on it and flew it up the pole. Finding the nearest hat they put it on Jareth's head.

"Jareth you have now been promoted to Captain, get behind the wheel thingy," Leah said.

"I believe that's called the helm," Jareth corrected her.

"Does it look like I care?" Leah asked with a scowl.

"Right," Jareth said and went to the helm. Shane kept a look out on the Black Pearl that was getting dangerously close.

"So what do we do?" Brittany asked.

"You dress up like a wench and go clean something," Virginia said.

"Ok, wait, HEY! What is that supposed to mean?!" Brittany yelled and almost tackled the starving singer.

"Fight later, we have a pirate ship to deal with," Shane said. They were all already dressed in the appropriate pirate garb. Shane, Jareth, and Sarah were the only ones who had swords.

The Black Pearl pulled up beside the other ship. The other sailors on the boat looked over to the dark red ship.

"Ahoy!" Shane called, "You passing by?" she asked cheerfully. Suddenly Jack sauntered onto the deck, looking as drunk as ever (AN: Like that's new).

"Who you be?" he called over.

"Not a very big vocabulary, huh?" Kelli asked Torrance.

"We are just simple pirate crew, we kinda just got started," Shane said with a sweet smile.

"Literally," Jareth muttered.

"This is our fearless captain, Captain Jareth Contez," Sarah said and pointed to Jareth. He looked absolutely stunned and threw a glare at Sarah, she just smiled back. Jack considered the crew for a moment.

"All woman, but one? Unless of course you prefer to be considered a woman," he asked Jareth. There was snickers from the crews.

"Are you planning to stay?" Jareth asked impatiently.

"Actually, yes," Jack said and hopped over to the other ship. A lot of the girls were uneasy. Jack looked around for anything. Brittany was lounging on the railing of the ship and ignored Jack as he passed by.

"Jar- um Captian we should be going now," Kelli said and secretly pointed to her watch.

"Alright, Captain Jack, am I right?" Jareth asked, Jack nodded. "We must be going now. It was nice meeting you," Jareth pushed Jack towards his boat.

"But I haven't met your whole crew," Jack said.

"Trust me that's a good thing," Jareth said secretly. Jack turned out of Jareth's hands.

"Are you embarrassed of your crew?" he asked. Jareth sighed in frustration.

"Yeah, Jareth are you embarrassed of us?" Sarah asked. Apparently she was still a little ticked off about the Legolas thing. Suddenly there was a scream. Brittany, being the clutz that she was, fell off the railing.

"Itwasnicemeetingyougoodbye!" Shane said rather quickly, pushed Jack back on his boat and went towards the railing Brittany had fallen off of. Funny thing was that there was no splash.

"Wasn't there supposed to be a quiet shattering splash?" Torance asked.

"You watch to much cartoons," Kelli shook her head.

"WHO CARES?! If we don't get one of the main characters back the director will kills us!" Shane said. They all rushed to the side of the boat. This is supposed to be humor and since all the characters were at one side of the boat it of course started to tip.

"Quick to the other side!" Jareth said. So they rushed to the other side. This repeated itself a couple times before they decided to send half on each side. Kelli looked over the side.

"Oh well that explains it," she said. On the side of the boat was large glowing vortex thingy (for lack of better word).

"What do we do now?" Kori asked.

"WE JUMP!!" Kelli said and jumped over the side. One by one they others plugged there noses and jumped.

"Geronimo!"

"Geronimo!"

"AHHHH!"

"I'm too young to die!"

"I still have a singing career to restart!" (AN: Wonder who that was.)

"All's well that ends well."

…………………………..

Not the End

Authoress: Yes I know you all hate me.

Zoe: Well, not all of us

Jareth: Just most of us

Authoress: I've got a lot of stories so sue me!

Lawyers: poof Gladly

Jareth: Good going big mouth

Authoress: Oh shut up

Zoe: PLEASE REVIEW!!


	8. Let's Do the Time Warp AGAIN!

Authoress: I love you all!! (glomps reviewers)

Zoe: Down GIRL!!

Jareth: Is she always like this?

Authoress: YES!

Zoe: I can't believe the government trusts her with a computer

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN LABYRINTH!!! Do I have to repeat this every chapter?

Chapter 8

Let's Do the Time Warp… AGAIN!!

"AHHHH!!" SLAM!

"OW! Jareth get off me!!"

"That's not me!!"

"Torance get your elbow out of ribs!"

"Then get your foot out of my stomach!"

"Hey that's my foot!"

"That's going to leave a mark."

"Uh guys."

"Why is it so dark here?"

"Who cares, get off me!"

"Guys!"

"Kelli where'd we land?"

"I can't see anything, Jareth get off me."

"GUYS! SHUT UP!"

"What is it Shane?"

"Look up," Shane said with a meep. They all looked up (if they could). Right next to there human pile was a mummy looking gloomily down at them (dead of course).

"AHHH!!" The whole group screamed and ran to the nearest exit. There they stood in the middle of a dessert. Behind them was a tomb.

"Ok, who votes we never do that again?" Kori asked. There was a chorus of 'Aye's' and they looked around.

"If that was a mummy, we must be in Egypt somewhere," Kelli said.

"You mean to tell me we are in the middle of a desert?!" Torance yelled.

"Yes," Kelli asked simply.

"Oh," Torance's shoulders slumped, "This is so going to fry my hair."

"Well, we might as well start walking," Shane said.

"Which way?" Sarah asked. Jareth grinned and opened his mouth to say something, "Say anything about that damn hole and I'll strangle you, fae or no fae." Jareth shut his mouth.

"Let's just start walking," Kori suggested. The sun started setting.

"That's convenient," Shane said. "Well the sun is setting that way," she pointed to the direction, "So that's west. Which means that way is east," she pointed the opposite direction.

"Eureka she does have a brain!" Kori said. She pulled out a doggie treat and threw it at Shane. She caught it in her mouth.

"Ok, for the record, that was off," Sarah said and started walking east.

"How do you know where to go?" Jareth asked.

"I beat your Labyrinth, didn't I?" she asked.

"Oooo DISS!!" the other girls said together.

"Shut up," Jareth shot and started to follow Sarah.

"Lover's quarrel," Torance whispered.

"Your life story," Shane retorted.

Two Hours and a few dunes later…….

"Don't worry guys," Kelli said, "Just another dune and we'll be in a town."

"YOU SAID THAT THREE DUNES AGO!!" Shane yelled at her.

"Can't we just press the silver button on Kelli's watch?" Jareth asked. Everyone crowded around Kelli. She looked down at her watch and then laughed nervously.

"Uh, the batteries are dead." Anime face fault.

To make a long story short (too late) they made it to Cairo

"Cool, Cairo, Egypt," Shane said.

"Problem, Egypt in the 1400's," Kelli said. The group groaned and entered the city. "Let's find something to eat." After being chased by guards, random people, and a few crazy monkeys they got a hold of some fruit.

"This is actually pretty good," Sarah said.

"Not important right now," Kelli said, "We have to find some batteries!" she said and started pacing.

"And how, pray tell, are we supposed to find batteries this early in the times?" Torance asked.

"I don't know but we better look," Kelli said.

Three hours and a Few shops later……………….

"Jareth you find anything?" Shane asked as the group regrouped.

"Just a few weird objects and a very ticked off guy in bandages," Jareth shrugged.

"Look what I found!" Brittany yelled and held up a shiny gold Egyptian lamp. As usual no one cared and they started talking about how hot the weather was. "Fine, I thought it was pretty. It just needs some shining." Like every good story with a magical lamp a genie popped out of a lamp.

"I will grant you seven wishes!" it boomed. Everyone was paying attention now.

"Seven? I thought it was three?" Shane asked.

"Look, I could give you none. I don't make the rules I just work here," the genie said. The others nodded and agreed.

"Ok I wish-" Brittany began.

"HEY!" Jareth yelled, "I make the wishes here! This is my fanfic! Butt out!" Jareth threw a crystal at the genie and he plus the lamp disappeared. It ended up in an overrated Disney movie years later.

"JARETH!!" Everyone yelled at him.

"Hey," mysterious voice said. Everyone looked to the dark alley next to them. "You need something? Secret coins? Dead mummies? Cursed stuff that stupid tourists buy? Conveniently placed batteries that don't really belong in this time zone?"

"YAY!" The group cheered.

"How much?" Kelli asked.

"100 yen," the masked guy said.

"Wait aren't we in Egypt?" Kori asked.

"Hey I don't make the rules, toots, I just work here (AN: DAMN SKIPPY!). Ask the weird Authoress that sometimes pops up," he suggested. Suddenly there was a flash and a cloud of glitter sprayed everyone.

"I DON'T POP! I POOF!! And the glitter is Jareth's fault! Check the movie! He uses glitter!" the Authoress yelled. The girls looked to Jareth. He folded his arms over his chest.

"WHAT?! I liked the way it looked, ok?!" Anime sweat drop.

"Ok, we got the batteries," Kelli said. "Can we go now?"

"Yes," the Authoress said and 'poofed' away.

Authoress: That was fun!

Zoe: That was pointless

Jareth: That was annoying

Authoress: Ok please review!


	9. Sin City Here We Come!

Authoress: I've been gone too long.  
Zoe: Yeah, and your leaving again

Authoress: SHHHH!!!

Jareth: Oops

Authoress: Please don't kill me reviewers. I've been really busy  
Zoe: Semester finals.  
Authoress: Yeah  
Jareth: ?  
Authoress: (tackles Jareth) SHUT UP!!!

Disclaimer: I only own the crazy girls in this fic! PS I live in the city their going to.

Full House Beats All

Sin City Here We Come!

Bright light, screams, and a big bam. You know the drill! The group this time landed on the sidewalk of a deserted neighborhood.

"Where the hell are we?" Jareth asked, standing up and dusting himself off. The girls stood too. Suddenly they were almost run over by a bus that stopped in front of them. The door opened and two blondes were smiling down at them.  
"Oh crap!" the group screamed and were magically pulled into the bus. They were slammed into the seats and the seat belts wrapped around them. The blonde that wasn't driving, stood up and addressed them all.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. We decided to take this little trip in a new direction," she said and the other started up the bus.  
"ROAD TRIP!!" she yelled and the bus came to life. She drove passed cars and trucks and different vehicles so fast you couldn't tell where they were. Suddenly the bus stopped so fast that the blonde standing up was thrown forward.

"Sorry, Zoe," the driver said as she looked over her.  
"S'alight," she groaned and got up. The doors opened and the group filed out. In front of them was a large lighted sign that read 'Welcome to Las Vegas'.

"Zoe's your tour guide for now, seeya later!" the bus drove off and disappeared.  
"She scares me," Kori said.  
"Try livin' we her," Zoe whispered. "Well let's get started!" she said.

------

"NO JARETH! I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED BY ELVIS!!" Sarah screamed. As they exited the drive threw chapel (AN: This is real by the way).

"It was just a suggestion," he muttered as they walked towards the Luxor. (AN: FYI: Giant pyramid!).

"Not more Egyptian stuff!" Virginia whined. Zoe pushed them inside. After getting Jareth to stop poking the machines their tour guide finally got them to the theatre.  
---

They came out with popcorn and the 3D glasses on. "That was awesome," remarked Kelli.  
"Now onto to the Mirage!" Zoe said and pushed them into another bus.

------

"The sharks won't eat you," Kelli said to the shivering Brittany, as they went through the shark tunnel. "They are behind the protective glass." She said and flicked the glass. Crack . OO.

-------

"They came out of the casino with drenched clothes and they all glared at Kelli. "'They're behind the glass', you said!" Brittany yelled. "'It'll be ok', you said!"

"Oh shut up!" Kelli said and threw a towel in her face.

--------------

"So what is this called again?" Jareth nearly had to yell over the clunking of the cart they were sitting in.

"It's called a roller coaster!" Zoe called back.

"OH!" he yelled back. Then the roller coaster went down the slope. All was doomed. They came off the roller coaster and swayed slightly.  
"New York, New York roller coaster ride 5$," Kori said.

"'I love NY' t-shirt, 9$," Kelli continued.  
"Hearing the Goblin King scream like a girl, priceless," Sarah smiled slyly. Jareth glared at her and the others laughed. (AN: Ok so that wasn't all mine).

"Ok, people no time to chat!" Zoe said, who suddenly had a mega-phone. OO.

"She scary," Torrance whispered.

"And now she's louder," Leah said. Zoe then screamed in their ears.  
"I SAID MOVE OUT!!"  
"AHHHH!"

--------

"I think I'm going to be sick," Kori put her hand over her mouth and ran off. The others just enjoyed the scenery from that high. They stood on the observation deck of the Stratosphere (AN: Really tall sky scraper that looks like a UFO with a needle on it).  
"She have a thing with heights?" Zoe asked. The other girls nodded. Zoe shook her head.  
"Zoe, can I throw Jareth off?" Sarah asked abruptly.  
"No," she answered without looking away from the scenery.  
"Please?"  
"No."

"Pretty please?"

"That's it, young lady. Go back to the bus!" Zoe said and pointed towards the exit. Sarah bowed her head and walked off. "Geez the nerve of that girl," Zoe stormed passed Jareth and accidentally pushed him over the edge.

"AHHHHH!" The other girl waved goodbye.  
While falling Jareth en remembered something. "Wait a minute, I can fly!" he said and turned into an owl. He then landed on the bus in the parking lot, muttering threats to the tour guide. People passing by ran off screaming something about possessed owls.

"Hey, where have you been?" Torance asked as they all came back down to the bus. Jareth muttered darkly as he leaned up against the bus. They shrugged and entered the bus and were off again.

----------------

"Oooo pretty," Brittany cooed as they watched the fountain show in front of the Ballagio.

"This reminds me of that like second to the last scene in Ocean's Eleven," Kori said.  
"Yeah, the one where they are all looking at it?" Torance said. "And then all walk off in different directions?"   
"Yeah that one," Kori answered.

"Oooo, Brad Pit looked so cute!!" (Anime sweatdrop).

----------------

"So that's it for Las Vegas?" Kori asked. Zoe nodded and pushed them all back into the bus.  
"Wow, that was fun," Sarah said. Jareth nodded and the Authoress started the bus.  
"Where to now?" Kelli asked. The Authoress smiled evilly and the bus disappeared.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Authoress: I had to do that.  
Zoe: Anyhoo, where will they go next?  
Authoress: That's the problem I don't know.  
Zoe: YOU DON'T KNOW?!  
Authoress: I need feedback.  
Jareth: (asleep on floor)  
Zoe and Authoress: R&R!!


	10. Major Tom to Ground Control

Authoress: (looks at angry reviewers) I know I know, I deserve a beating, but please I got thrown from my bike today, I don't need more injuries.

Zoe: It was hella funny! Her bike went one way, she went the other!

Authoress: (glare)

Disclaimer: Does it look like I own any of this crap? Also the Title is not exactly mine either. It belongs to David Bowie.

**Full House Beats All  
This is Major Tom to Ground Control**

Gravity was defied so there was no loud thud but there was screaming. Well, until Zoe threw her megaphone at Jareth.

"Pull yourself together man! Stop screaming!" she yelled. Jareth shut his trap.

"Where are we?" Kori asked.

"Good question," Zoe said, "I don't know."

"YOU DON'T KNOW?!" they all yelled.

"Do I look like the Authoress?" she asked with a glare. "Don't answer that!" she said and flipped a few pages on her clipboard. "This says we're on the moon."

There was a loooong silence……… and then everyone started screaming, much to the dismay of our tour guide.

"HEY SHUT UP ALL OF YA!!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. There was that ominous silence (you know, that kind that you see a tumble-weed go by in).

"Hey where'd the tumble-weed come from?" Kori asked.

"Ok, so let's just get this straight, we're on the moon and well, there's not much here but feel free to roam." Zoe said and opened the hatch door.

"NO!" they all screamed, but nothing happened.

"No, what?" Zoe asked. They all looked form each other and shrugged. The group exited bus and looked around.

"You think the moon is made of cheese?'" Courtney asked.

"Go ahead, eat some," Leah said, this was then followed by the sound of Courtney choking on a rock.

"Somebody give her the Heimlich maneuver," Kori sighed.

"I'll do it," Virginia said and went to give her sister the Heimlich.

"Weee!" Jareth said as he took long strides and bounced up into the air.

"Did he just say 'Wee'?" Virgina asked with disblief.

"I believe he just did," Zoe answered. Looking around she frowned and then nodded. "Yup, this the moon," she told them with conviction.

"Thank you for the reinstatement," Sarah said sarcastically. Looking to Jareth, who was currently humming the ballroom song, she sighed and picked up a rock and threw it at him.

"Ow!" the goblin king cried and held his head.

"I KNOW!" Virginia said rather suddenly. "We should have a concert! On the moon!"

Everyone looked to her incredulously. Then they looked to each other. Why not? It's not like they had their sanity to lose if they let the starving artist play.

* * *

I Hour Later

"Zoe, are you sure you know how to play that?" Virginia asked the tour guide who was looking starry-eyed at the black guitar in her hands. There was no response. The singer sighed. "Oh goodness."

"You ready?" Kori asked as she sat at the drums.

"Yup!" Virginia called. Leah was at the base with a smirk on her lips.

The song began slow; a familiar tune to others. It was a blast form the past to some. It brought back the ideas of the 80's!!

Virginia began to sing:

**Ground Control to Major Tom  
Ground Control to Major Tom  
Take your protein pills  
and put your helmet on**

**Ground Control to Major Tom  
Commencing countdown,  
engines on  
Check ignition   
and may God's love be with you**

Everyone listened to the odd lyrics, but smirked and began to dance slowly. The moon's gravitation was rather fun to dance in. The band played on and Zoe jammed quite well on the guitar (to the amazement to many).

Jareth looked over to Sarah and offered his hand. Unfortunately (to all to J/S fans), she was still pissed and turned around to dance by herself. Jareth sighed and slumped, until Shane grabbed his hand and yanked him on to the "dance floor".

**This is Ground Control  
to Major Tom  
You've really made the grade  
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear  
Now it's time to leave the capsule  
if you dare**

**This is Major Tom to Ground Control  
I'm stepping through the door  
And I'm floating  
in a most peculiar way  
And the stars look very different today**

Down on earth, a small group of be-spectacled boys that sat in a science room next to a radio hooked up to a rather odd looking satellite.

"A transmission is coming!" one exclaimed and tuned the radio thing. An old 80's song by a certain blonde haired artist started to filter through the speakers.

"I KNEW IT!!" another boy shouted. "THERE IS LIFE ON THE MOON! AND THEY LIKE THE 80's!!"

He was then promptly sacked by his club-mates. For they thought they had just caught a transmission from a nearby 80's station. Little did they know!

**For here  
Am I sitting in a tin can  
Far above the world  
Planet Earth is blue  
And there's nothing I can do**

**Though I'm past   
one hundred thousand miles  
I'm feeling very still  
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go  
Tell my wife I love her very much  
she knows**

**Ground Control to Major Tom  
Your circuit's dead,  
there's something wrong  
Can you hear me, Major Tom?  
Can you hear me, Major Tom?  
Can you hear me, Major Tom?  
Can you...**

**Here am I floating  
round my tin can  
Far above the Moon  
Planet Earth is blue  
And there's nothing I can do.**

The song ended and the band and others were very wildly shoved back into the bus and were off again with their wacky guide and no clue where they were going next. Someone save us!!

* * *

Authoress: Short, I know. BUT COME ON!!! At least I updated something!! Trust me, I'm trying to get back on to updating! So look out for my other stories!!

Zoe: Plus submit on where you think these idiots- I mean- lovely people should go!

Disclaimer: I don't own "Space Oddity" by David Bowie!


End file.
